Tolerating discomfort
5 things I did yesterday to navigate fear and discomfort
I wrote this newsletter mostly so I could give myself a pep talk.
I’m sharing it because I’m fairly confident it will resonate with at least one other human out there. Let me know if you’ve experienced any similar feelings or situations!
High heels.
Overcrowded elevators.
Close talkers.
The dentist.
Funeral small talk.
Post nasal drip (sorry—it’s spring I had to)
Admitting what we want.
Going after what we want.
The common thread? Uncomfortable.
As humans, we use all sorts of creative ways to avoid discomfort.
You’ll never find me in a pair of high heels and I’m more than happy to wait for the next elevator.
It’s scary admitting what we want. It’s scary when you finally start to experience a path that feels so good after spending most of your life unable to hope, unable to dream.
I spent yesterday pacing my yard, planting pansies, and enjoying the sunshine, but all the while scared and uncomfortable. Why? Because over the last months, I’ve acquired real clarity about the direction I want to take to help others & form the backbone of my work. I finally said it out loud and put some things into motion. It got real.
How do we tolerate the discomfort that comes with doing things that are necessary for our growth and well-being?
Is there a magic equation? Someone, anyone? Unfortunately, I don’t think there is any one-sized fits all answer, but I did get a text message in the midst of this that summed it up pretty well, “slow and mindful”. I took that phrase and put it into action. I’m going to share what that looked like for me:
I reminded myself everything is a choice.
I could pull the plug. I could backtrack. I could lie and say forget it, I changed my mind, it just doesn’t feel right. Then I took a few minutes and imagined myself taking that route and it put an even bigger knot in my stomach. It was a good litmus test. Staying with the discomfort was more appealing than throwing in the towel and shutting out my truth.
I checked my all-or-nothing thinking.
I have so many cool ideas floating around in my head. I’ve decided to lead a life that is open to pivoting and flexibility. So I reminded myself that trial and error is part of the equation. If something works or doesn’t work it doesn’t mean that I am forever chained to it. Everything also doesn’t need to happen ALL AT ONCE. I control the pacing and the size of bites I take.
I recalled the times I’ve survived discomfort.
Once the initial growing pains subside we have a real knack for forgetting them entirely. Our brains make it seem as if all the things we are doing were always easy. That’s a lie. I reminded myself that the first few times I pushed send on this newsletter I was uncomfortable knowing that people I’ve known my whole life would be learning new things about me. When I quit my job without another “career” or “plan” in place–uncomfortable. When I published my journal and showed my creative underbelly to the world–uncomfortable. You get the idea. Nothing killed me, in fact, most days I kinda feel like I’m kicking ass.
I revisited my strengths and values.
My core values these days include authenticity, contribution, freedom, growth, wisdom, spirituality, and self-awareness.
The reason why I had a knot in my stomach when I imagined backtracking was that I would be out of alignment with every single one of my values if I did so.
I also know that my strengths include things like perseverance, resilience, social intelligence, creativity, humor, and mindfulness, all of which will help me on my journey.
Lastly, I gave myself permission to be scared and uncomfortable.
There was no reason to fight it. I want to reserve that precious energy to help propel myself forward. In this case, I think being scared and uncomfortable is truly an indication of the fact that I am headed in the right direction. It is a sign of something being meaningful.
…and so I continue onward. Having faith that, unlike high heels, this is a discomfort worth enduring and that sooner than I realize these feelings will take a concentrated effort to resurrect.
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My journal, Lessons from Nature is now out. You can find it here.
Great 5 tips - especially the part about things you've forgotten were uncomfortable! Glad you feel like you're kicking ass! (Loved that part!)
Thank you for posting! It definitely resonated for me. I’m in a similar place in my life, trying to shift how I work and live after experiencing the effects of trying to drown everything out and “follow the rules” rather than acknowledging my own needs and values.