The value of taking yourself seriously.
When I was younger, I mastered the craft of self-deprecating humor believing that if I said the shitty comment first, it would hurt less.
Hey there!
My Monday newsletter is a little tardy to the party today, but that’s okay. It’s arrived :)
As a larger human, I am acutely aware of the ways the world does not take my body seriously.
Until recently, the bigger girl was always comic relief or the best friend when she showed up on screen. Large floral patterns and unnecessary chains on plus size clothing make it apparent that brands prioritize my flesh after everyone else's. When I was younger, I mastered the craft of self-deprecating humor believing that if I said the shitty comment first, it would hurt less. It never worked. My eyes were adept at quickly scanning a room to find the least intrusive spot for my body. Blending in and making others comfortable were the top priorities.
Thankfully, the world has seen some progress in taking people like me seriously. I’ve also learned that I can make peace with my looks even if others don’t. I’m grateful that I am no longer at war with my body. However, I’ve found a new challenge bubbling up, except this time it’s not centered around my body, it’s centered around my dreams.
In the same way that fat makes people uncomfortable, I’ve discovered career non-conformity makes people squeamish.
Their disapproval is there in the same way, “do you really need that?” was when my hand reached for a snack. Thankfully, there’s about half a handful of people who know my recent decisions are not simply a trauma response. They don’t raise an eyebrow when I stick my hand into the bag of trial and error. They’ve seen and recognized the shift in my energy. They take me seriously.
Although there was so much pain in reconciling my relationship with my body, I am grateful for that experience.
Because like any challenge in life, there are transferable lessons I learned. I’ve tapped back into those lately, as I continue to choose non-conformity. I know that even with support from others, I need to take myself seriously in order to succeed. I know that I don’t have to fit into a traditional mold to be valuable. I don’t have to make a joke or downplay my desires. I can take myself seriously as a coach. I can take myself seriously as a writer & creator. I can take myself seriously as an entrepreneur. I can do all of this without anyone giving me permission to use those terms or without hitting traditional indicators of success.
In fact, I know that it is only when I fully start to take myself seriously that the things I long for will materialize.
Why? Because, I did not wait for someone to tell me my body was valuable before I embraced it’s value. I did not wait for a billboard to say I am worthy of love, before I accepted love.
Never underestimate the value and power of taking yourself seriously, even when the rest of the world disagrees.
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Oh the newly forged paths we are here to cultivate for our unique expression of Wholeness. How many times I have seen the looks on folks faces when they learn that I have never had a "normal" job, that I do not care to conform to social norms, that my bank account is not my top priority, that nature is my teacher... Phrases like "You aren't living up to your potential" make me cringe. And still, I would not trade my world for anybody else's because it fits me perfectly. I continue to learn with the invitation to follow my desires, steward my gifts with integrity, and create a landscape of living that truly nurtures the Whole of my ecology. Beautiful wisdom weaving with your reflections on the experience of your walk!
Maggie, I would like to read more of your dreams. D