SHEDDING (Read & Reflect #16)
answering the call to embrace the required vulnerability that leads to growth.
Hello! I hope you enjoy this newsletter. It was one of my favorites to write so far.
I’m also going to plop the reflection questions at the start AND the end, just to get your brain thinking before you dive in. Lastly, I answered the reflection questions again this week. I’d love to hear your thoughts as well.
What is a situation or belief that you desire to shed?
Describe the fear that is preventing you from letting go.
What might be different about your life if you decided to shed this situation or belief?
It inevitably happened once a summer, usually around the middle of July.
I’d gag, retrieve the lobster I just murdered with my bare hand, quickly shake it off and get back to work before the line grew too long with hungry beachgoers ready to pick up their dinner. Lobsters aren’t soft and snuggly. They’re pointy. They have weird eyes. Then there’s the whole claw thing. I’m not the Hulk, so you might be wondering how I managed to kill one by simply picking it up.
You see, the lobster I murdered was molting–a brutal experience that an estimated 10% don’t survive. During this process their shell literally splits in half and they are exposed with no exoskeleton to protect them. While waiting for their shell to harden again (which can take months), they are referred to as “jellies”. The smallest lobster you can buy is about five years old and survived that molting process approximately 25 times. If lobsters didn’t shed, it’s a guaranteed death, because unlike humans, their physical body continues to grow until they die.
Stagnation isn’t an option. They must be vulnerable in order to survive.
It’s an amazingly cruel, but enlightening process.
Human brains are hardwired to avoid pain.
When tension builds and our hearts yearn for more room to expand and grow, we often attempt to ignore it. We avoid the jelly-like state afraid of the vulnerability and discomfort that accompany it. We do not think of the beautiful, hard shell that develops after a period of growth.
Shedding old beliefs and situations may seem optional for human survival because, unlike the lobster, we will never physically outgrow our own bodies. However, I’d argue that it is just as crucial to us as it is the crustaceans.
Each second we choose to remain attached to something that we long to shed, it chips away at our spirits. It smothers our quality of life. Like the body of the lobster we are meant to expand.
The former teacher in me still likes modeling for others so I am going to answer my own reflection questions again this week. I would love to hear yours! Feel free to leave a comment.
What is a situation or belief that you desire to shed?
I’ve been doing a lot of letting go lately. One belief that I am still actively letting go of is the belief that I have to have everything figured out before I make a move or, that in some cases I even have to have a next move lined up. I am still practicing learning how to just be.
Describe the fear that is preventing you from letting go.
I’m fearful of the unknown. I’m fearful of the what-ifs. I’m fearful that if I just practice staying the course that I will become stagnant.
What might be different about your life if you decided to shed this situation or belief?
I think I’d feel more contentment with certain aspects of my every day life. I think if I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to actively be plotting and planning my next move, I would have more space to savor the progress I have made and enjoy what is right in front of me. It would also let me make more intentional choices rather than ones rooted in fear.
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That’s so interesting! Another amazing metaphor for spiritual transformation from nature. I’m also working on shedding the “I must know everything first” idea - I get stuck in it all too often. And parenting for me these days is pretty much a lesson in “there is no goddamn map, so just do the next right thing!!” In other words, life is forcing me to shed that skin whether I feel ready or not 😅
Maggie, Questions are tough to incorporate in a writing. On the one hand you want to promote thought. On the other you don't want to come across as using canned questions. For me the ideal question would read something like "What do you think?' or even Thoughts? Hope that helps .D