Learning to color outside the lines.

For the last six months I’ve been deliberately and consistently stepping toward what makes me feel expansive and more aligned with what I believe my purpose is on this earth.

A few years ago, I was at my parents watching TV and coloring. My mom saw what I was doing and said:

I used to get so angry at you when you were little. You always colored outside the lines.

I don’t think my mom got legitimately angry. As she continued her anecdote that day, it was clear she was more challenged by her impulse to correct me.

Despite my mom’s restraint, I ended up as someone who learned how to color inside the lines…too well. I’ll blame it on being the eldest daughter and a Virgo.

I recently found a folder of my artwork that my mom saved. I am so happy that she did. Seeing things my little hands created has been healing and fun. I actually have this hanging up above my desk. This is the energy I’m going for in 2023, misspelled name included!

Now, I am repeatedly choosing to color outside the lines.

For the last six months, I’ve been deliberately and consistently stepping toward what makes me feel expansive, and more aligned with what I believe my purpose is on this earth.

• I walked away from my career.

• I turned down several job offers.

• I am growing a business or two or three?

• I started sharing my writing.

• I took an 8 week course with a spiritual teacher and coach.

• I’ve started to let myself dream.

It’s felt amazing, and scary.

I met a new version of myself—the authentic one.

My heart tells me that I’ve known this version before, if only for a short time.

I don’t ever want to go back. I can’t go back. I won’t go back.

However, just because I’m accepting and loving this new reality, doesn’t mean that I don’t have moments of utter insecurity. It’s especially difficult when the majority of my social circle has stayed on more traditional paths.

I find myself hiding from situations where I feel like people will ask, “so what do you do”?

Just last week, I practically ran from a conversation with an old coworker out of fear that question might appear. It makes me uneasy that I don’t have a one sentence answer. It used to be so straightforward, “Oh, I am an 8th grade teacher”.

After all, isn’t that what our society wants? 
Things placed in easy to understand [boxes.] 
Solid colors inside bold lines.

I’m still learning how to be a patchwork person. 
I’m uneasy. I’m scared. I’m excited.
I can’t wait to see how beautiful my quilt will be.

Wholeheartedly, 

Maggi *

*this was intentional. If you read the caption, you’ll know :)

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My journal, Lessons from Nature is now out. You can find it here.

Interested in working with me? Reach out.