You deserve the best life has to offer.
You might be saying to yourself, “sure I don’t deserve a stinky pile of dog poop, but I certainly don’t deserve the best". Well, I think we both do, but it wasn't always that way.
Here’s what I want you to know today:
It’s okay to want more.
It’s okay to have needs.
It’s okay to not always know exactly where you are headed.
It doesn’t matter where you’ve failed in the past.
You deserve the best life has to offer right now, without having to do a thing to earn it.
If you are anything like 2015 Maggie, those statements may solicit an eye roll or an uncomfortable pit in your stomach. You might be saying to yourself, “sure I don’t deserve a stinky pile of dog poop, but I certainly don’t deserve the best life has to offer”.
I think you do. I will continue to think you do even when you can’t.
I think I deserve the best life has to offer too. I truly, wholeheartedly, do.
However, it took me YEARS to get to this place and I still have my moments.
Today, I’m going to share another journal entry.
It’s my intention that my past words will resonate with at least 1 person. Now that I have a significant amount of healing under my belt, I believe that my words are more universal than they felt to me in 2015. However, we still live in a world that doesn’t let people see our raw sides.
If you relate, just know you don’t have to keep living in the place of self-doubt, insecurity and struggle that you find yourself in. If I’ve managed to flip my script, you can too.
For some context, I wrote this as a therapy baby with just a few months under my belt, not a seasoned veteran. You’ll notice slivers of empowerment and self-confidence, but they were still heavily drenched in self-doubt and questioning.
I hope my words give you something to think about and that you can make one baby step toward believing that you deserve the best life has to offer.
Lastly, I’ll include the images from my journal below because I think there is something valuable in seeing words in actual written form, but because it’s a little messy I’ve typed them out as well, just keep scrolling.
7/1/2015 Wednesday
Look whose writing again. I’m hesitant to journal about the questions Cynthia has asked me to mull over, but part of me really wants to. It feels so good to be exploring what’s going on. I think I’m learning that I’m stronger than I think. Last week was good. I took pauses and didn’t go into binge-pity mode. I’m learning that my mind is powerful as fuck, but that I do have the power to control my thoughts and in turn my actions!
So, let’s get this out of the way, why don’t I deserve the best life has to offer? I’m average. I’m plain. I blend in. I don’t deserve hell, but I don’t think I deserve the best. I can be selfish and stubborn and introverted. I’m fat. I’m a glutton. I’m not the best I can be, so how can I expect the best? I’m not ready for the best.
I don’t think I could fully appreciate it even if I could have it. I would always be questioning why me? What’s the ulterior motive? How long will this last? And I guess those questions are that inner critic stepping in.
If I don’t have it, I can’t lose it. I can’t get hurt. Having those thoughts sure as hell doesn’t stop me from wanting it, just maybe from getting it I guess. I’m not sure.
Then there is this part of me that thinks I deserve the utter best and nothing short of that. That isn’t necessarily helpful either. I’m such a contradiction. I need to figure out how to marry the two.
Why do I deserve the best?
I’m caring. I’m thoughtful. I don’t take things lightly, but recognize levity is needed in life and I’m good at providing that too. I’m smart. I’m dedicated. I’m loyal. How can I get myself to the middle?
What do you think, do you deserve the best life has to offer?
Wholeheartedly,
Maggie
Are you enjoying what you’re reading? I’d love for you to share my newsletter with one person you think may enjoy it.
You can also follow along on Instagram and find more of my writing over at my blog.
Also- I made a quick video defining “Finding the Flotsam” for those who are curious. I’m not planning on posting on YouTube regularly, but needed a work around for Substack so here it is: